A nothing to do evening with a very long post.

People are truly funny or should I say myself.

I have nothing to do now and instead of watching the webcast of the lecture I missed yesterday I am now blogging.

But then again, other people are really funny too.

Like the people in my OG. They always seem to think that I am always angry with them.

I have kept this to myself but I think now is a good time to say all of these out.

It happened on the last day of O-Week. I was in front teaching the whole house to do the war cheer when I suddenly realised that most of my OG was not around just when the pre-war games were about to begin.

I proceeded to ask Adrian where they were and found out that they were at macs.

Of course, I got angry then. I remembered sending 2 girls who did not go to macs to get them. However, as I was impatient, I remembered walking to macs myself to get them.

The moment I saw the group, I went on to give the people there a piece of my mind and stormed back to join the rest of the house. They followed, taking their own sweet time.

I showed my black face the rest of the day and was sarcastic to them a few times. Jo'an told me that she felt like punching me but I shall give an answer to that later.

I seriously did not feel like facing them at all that day. At one point, Frederick came to ask me whether I was angry. Of course I was!

Most of my OG was out relaxing at macdonald's while the rest of the house was out in the sun, learning and practising the war cheer. Of course I felt disappointed and pissed off. I felt that I had let the whole house and the other councillors down. Not to mention that to add on to my disappointment, I had treated them nicely the whole of O-Week. On that day itself, I let them do so. I also let them eat breakfast. I did all this at the risk that we would be late.

Not to mention that throughout O-Week, I had tried to be as nice to them as I could. I remembered on the Monday of the Freshmen Inaguration Ceremony, I had let them go back and change. They took their own sweet time and end up, the whole houe waited for us. As for why I dared to say they took their own sweet time, very simple. By the time I had gone to toilet and had finished changing, they were still at the LT sitting there and unchanged! Because of this incident, my brother, Zikang, got scolded by member of his OG. I later went around to his and John's OG to apologise for the incident.

Later that night, I let them go back to LT again. End up, they took their own sweet time again and we were late for the Arts Rag Preview.

Swinging back to the last day of O-Week, as mentioned I showed my black face the whole day. Only Frederick bothered to come and ask me why I was angry and apologised to me. The whole OG just seemed to continue as usual. They were their usual slow self, they took their own sweet time, they stood VERY FAR behind for all the station ICs briefings. Regarding that, I shall now answer Jo'an. It takes two hands to clap. I had a chance to be sarcastic because they gave me a chance to. It gave me a chance to tell the OG that they could stand further behind for the briefings. And as usual, because they were happily chatting among themselves for all the briefings, whenever the games started, they always had questions.

Not to mention that after I was sarcastic for the first time, they actually did the same thing at the next station and let me say the same thing. Some people are just born dumb or what????????

Next programme was back to school to practise for the finale item. For this, I just totally threw it to Kevin and went off on my own with the other senior councillors. This was the first time throughout O-Week that I fuck care my responsibility as an OGL and went off on my own. It showed how pissed off I was.

I continued to do the minimum as my duty as an OGL. When Camy asked me to collect money from my OG for the house singlet, I threw it to Jeremy to do.

And so O-Week ended on a very lousy note for me.

The next day was Rag Day. It was probably the hottest day ever the whole of O-Week. Later I went for lunch with my senior councillors and Zikang at Cine's Pastamania.

Over lunch, we were talking about O-Week. I remembered we were talking about Zhimin, R House IC who had admitted in his finale speech that he had felt very emo at one time but had hid it so well that only Ivan, his partner House IC knew about it and had continued to act normal and enthu for the whole of O-Week.

At that point, I felt that perhaps I had overreacted regarding my OG. I then proceeded to send them an SMS to apologise and to say that I hoped I had not spoilt their experience. A few then replied and apologised. Some people, were however, as usual, apathetic.

On Monday when I went to school, I saw school in a very different light as mentioned in the previous post. That night, when I got home, I told my super duper good friend about my experience. She proceeded to ask me whether I felt that same thing during Arts Camp last year. And I told her no.

And so she told me this which really enlightened me. Which was the fact that how I felt and how the freshies felt were very different. At that point, I really forgave the whole lot of them.

Howevr, the next day, I was sitting with Adrian and Belinda at Perk Point and we were talking about this topic and I was telling them how enligtened I was the day before.

However, both proceeded to change my mind again. And the key point offered here was Basic Courtesy which I had to agree with the both of them.

Basic courtesy was seriously lacking among some people. Let me list a few examples. My councillors had to ask people to ask them to move not once, not twice but THREE times before people slowly moved. Not to mention that on the day of beach games, I waited for one group to do their bidding. They seriously took their own sweet time, not bothering that the rest of the OG was waiting for me and thus for them. I later found out that the councillors had prepared a cheer to welcome me but it all went up in smoke because they waited in vain for me and finally went off when they did not see me.

Not to mention that unless I am outdated, it is common courtesy to apologise to someone especially when they are angry or pissed off. Not that I am asking for it or what but that is something that I have learnt since young and something that I myself would do if it had happened. Apparently, the younger generation are more pampered or they apparently don't learn such stuff or expect that the whole world owes them something because it did not happen. This is seriously a very big question mark to me.

And in the end, I had to be the one to initiate before SOME people decided to apologise. As if like I was the one in the wrong! My goodness, what is this world coming to?

And if people pleade ignorance, please read the above. Not to mention that I already told them when I went to Macs to find them why I was upset with them.

This had really marred an almost perfect O-Week for me. Up to that point, I was alright with everything. But this has really spoilt everything. I also wish I can not see any of them in school. All these has really carried over to spoil my school life.

Some people just don't appreciate things. I wonder if perhaps I have treated them too well. At one point, I had an argument with my councillors who felt I was treating the freshies too well. As to this, I stay by my stand. Below is the e-mail I sent out to the other councillors:

Dear all.

Regarding the incident where I passed the water to our freshies instead of Vincent, I will readily admit that I was at fault and neglected the fact that he had played the games and was thirsty.

However, regarding the other incidents, I do have my own viewpoints and I feel I should state them out.

For the incident in the canteen, true, they are old enough and they should be able to get the seats themselves. However, my intention leading to my actions then was not to pamper them but to make things run faster so that we could set out ASAP for the CSI. I could not see why we had to waste time to chat around when we could do so while travelling and we had to set out ASAP for the games.

Regarding the bidding part, I of course do not expect all of you to tell them exactly how much to bid. One of the freshies bidded for Econs, NM and South-East Asia and I also told her straight out that it was very hard to judge how much to bid exactly. What I was hoping you all to help them with was like check with them simple stuff like whether the combi of mods they are bidding for are suicidal, like psyche, soci, econs, whether they took exposure modules to clear the requirements and not other mods, how they should be using their general account and not spending all 5 mods from programme account. Some of them did not even know that when you bid 300 and the bid points goes for 200, you get 100 and that before bidding closes, all you bid points should be used up.

We have to understand that they are freshies and therefore new to all this. Not to mention that some people will feel paiseh to go and ask questions. As seniors, I feel that we can take active roles in trying to help them by telling them the tricks and loopholes of bidding and not helping them to bid and that is why I asked you all to do all that!

Nevertheless, at times, I feel that I have pampered them at times. Two incidents will be the one where the whole house waited for us after Freshmen Inauguration Programme and the other one was when we were late for the rag performance.

I will try my best not to pamper them so much but I feel that the councillors can play a more active roles especially with regards to mingling with the freshies and to help out especially with regards to movement. From day one, our movement has always been slow. As I was telling Lizhen and Cindy the other day, what we can do is that all of you spread yourselves out throughout the OG and try to hurry them up. I seek your cooperation in this.

I hope this clears the air about a few things and my intentions.

Regards,
Jun Yue

As it is, nothing has changed my view on the above. However, I do wonder if it was all worth it. The people did not appreciate, took it for granted and seemed as if I owed them.

Many people also mentioned that I looked very stressed during O-Week. I wish to iterate now that at not one moment did I feel so. To be honest, I enjoyed myself totally. It is just that I am a person who does not like to waste time and like to get things moving and so perhaps my constand calls for people to keep moving seemed to other people and indication of my stress.

This O-Week should have been memorable. It is. Just that the last day really spoilt it all. I really don't understand. Some people just don't get it and prefer to be selfish. As I told some of them during the first day, "If you all want to stay in your clique and do your own programme, you might as well meet up outside and do it, no need to come O-Week at all."

Everyone was talking about the high attrition rate of O-Week and so I was mentally prepared for it. However, the funny thing was I only faced it during Monday night when I had only 9 people altogether including the councillors. Other than that, the turnout rate was actually alright all the way and in fact quite high. It however turned out to be a problem because apparently, the people turned up to have their own programme. If given a choice, I would choose to have the attendance of the Friday when quite few people turn up but we managed quite well.

This quote has been used many times but it is really appropriate here. "A piece of glass once broken will always have cracks on it". I think that no matter what happens now, this peice of bad memory will always stay in my mind now. Only time can erase this dark patch in my life.

I do wonder whether I have the motivation to join Arts Camp and O-Week next year.

I wish to put all these behind me soon. Let time help in doing so.